Shadow Work Day 4

 

hallway with window
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Good morning lovely people! Welcome to day 4 of shadow work. Today’s questions were spurred by a fight I had with someone very close to me. One of the things it’s done is made me think about anger, how I deal with and respond to it.

Here it goes: Talk about the different ways in which people have expressed anger towards you or in front of you. How did you respond? How do you feel about it?

 

I have been trying to respond to this question for almost 15 minutes. No success! Anger terrifies me. Both my own and other peoples. I have mentioned in my other posts that I spent a lot of time in self-destructive situations. As you can imagine that lead me to a lot of angry people. The backlash of that was that I became a whipping post for people’s anger. Even if it wasn’t my fault or they weren’t mad at me a lot of the time, they took it out on me.

As a result, I have seen and experienced so many different expressions of anger, from breaking things, screaming, crying, hitting, yelling, silent treatment, etc.

Now even if people aren’t angry at me, just mad in general, I still feel unsafe. My own response works one of 3 ways: I either get quiet and hide away or I get angrier so as to scare the other person off, or I try to create a worse situation to distract them from their anger. None of these things are healthy.

Anger is not actually a bad thing, and in life, it has lead to some pretty amazing revolutions. So where do I go from here? Well, I have started to learn better ways of dealing with anger and slowly I am able to recognize it for what it really is… an expression of emotion. I have also learned how to communicate with angry people. Lastly, I have a circle of people who are conscious of how they express their anger.

As always thanks for listening feel free to comment down below.

Love and Light and Morrigan

One thought on “Shadow Work Day 4

  • Yeah, anger was my biggest issue for many moons – especially my own. For many years, anger was the only tool in my emotional toolbox. But I have managed to develop some others and move up the emotional scale away from anger. I find it rare now for me to get really angry, which is nice. Takes too much energy.

    I have come to understand that anger is a response indicating the person’s feeling of a basic need going unmet. It is also one of the first emotions to appear when a person’s security is threatened. Often the direction of the anger has nothing to do with the source of it, though. This is where the real problem lies. For instance, I used to direct my anger towards my kids when it was my ex I was angry with (they were the safer target). Now I try to remember that when I am the brunt of someone else’s rage, likely it is misdirected – the source is something or someone else.

    Another great thing to remember is that any emotional response is about the person having it, not the people around them who they may claim are causing it. This works both ways too – it means that my anger is also MINE and not the responsibility of what I think is the source. A good question for anyone to ask when feeling angry is “What need do I have that I feel is unmet right now?” A lot of enlightenment can come from that question, especially in light of the things that “make” us angry.

    Thanks for sharing, Lovely.
    ~C

    Like

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