Hello my beautiful lovelies! Hope everyone is doing amazing today. It’s been a while since you’ve had a blog from me. Life has been a little crazy. What am I saying life has been a lot crazy. To be completely honest I am not sure where I am really going with this but I felt the need to engage. Some days I wonder how many times you have to hear a concept or learn a lesson for it to really take hold. I guess it’s all about timing and until you’re really ready it’s not going to take root. Sometimes I feel like I’m a late/ supercharged bloomer all at once. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. I feel like some things take me so long to learn but then when I get it, it’s like fifty life lessons all at once. All this rambling to say what? I’ve recently lost a lot from my gallbladder to my heart and not in the new love kinda way. In doing this I realized something major. I am compromised! In the last year I have come so far from the person that I used to be for sure, but there was still something major I was missing…understanding.
I’ve talked about this so many times, my difficult past and how it led to unhealthy thought patterns and behaviours and I had all these things that were part of my shadow that created a broken and barely functional person. So what was there for me to do but work on healing those things and become awesome. Never realizing that that wasn’t the root of everything that was going on. I was still only treating symptoms. These things were buried so deep. It wasn’t till last night and a little bit this morning that I started to figure out what was going on. I started because I am still not sure about all of it but I hope to sort it out over the next 21 days I’ll get back to that in a second.
Let’s focus on what I realized, at some point I developed a cycle of getting heart broken, hitting rock bottom or major loss that would lead to great change and taking control of my life and improving things. Now I realize that this is something a lot of people go through. It’s not like this is new the difference for me was that it was the only way I could live life. I was incapable of moving forward without this cycle. To me it was as normal as breathing. I did it subconsciously, it obviously led to all the other negative stuff because that was how I kept the cycle in motion. It’s a mind boggling how I didn’t see this before but I guess it wasn’t time. I have fostered so many crappy situations to make this happen. At this point all I can do is laugh because who would have thought it would take me till 28, getting my gallbladder taken out and my heart broken all in the same weekend to finally be like hunh maybe there is something deeper happening. Gotta love spiritual upgrades. Anyways, I am honestly not sure how I am going to tackle this and the other things I suspect are going on but that brings me to the 21 days. For the next 21 days I am going to embark on a journey of change.
I’ve done this more times than I can count but this one is going to be a little different. I have NO PLAN!!!!! No step by step healing formula or healing concept. Just raw genuine emotion and a true willingness for change. I have a few things I know I need to work on for sure: create a better sleep schedule, a specific healing meditation I’ll link below, and daily engagement, and a daily routine. I am going to track this journey in two ways. Blogs and videos. The second one is pretty scary but I genuinely feel like what I am about to embark on could help a lot of others possibly suffering like I have, and I know not everyone likes to read blogs. I also feel like there is a different type of personalization in a video. So here we go strap in and lets do this.
Thank you all for joining me.
Love and Light! Morrigan.